the voice within

as im writing to you this, my heart pounds like its gonna drop from the top of titlis. no words could form how deeply hurt its been. every corner of this room speaks cold shudders. i am no where close to home. i wish there is a secret hole down the wardrobe that will lead me home. spent hours in the hot tub thinking if it was all worth it. was my tears all i had? havent grab myself any form of food just salty tears by the sandel bed. rooms’ to big for a tiny fit. i just wish this room could speak to me like how i tried holding back my weep. hate how gmt+1 could make you feel even sadder than i am already is. cant talk to anyone when the other side of the globe is fast asleep. i had my share of embarassing myself with tears to my bestfriend. not once but maybe twice. and all i heard was hush dont cry, things gona be just fine. im writing this to you again to show you how much sadness ive bagged myself all the way down to munich. i just wish they would off load these excess baggages. dear awak, if you only knew how much this means to me, you would already know what this whole poetry would mean. i write to you in a sacred place hoping one day you’ll find this space and read it with me, holding ny hand and tell me “honey it was all worth it”

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